these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
