when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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