in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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