I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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