Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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