This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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