Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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