If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
