There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
