put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
