looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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