You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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