Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
