The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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