You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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