Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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