dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
