I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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