She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
