I just saw a hot homeless man
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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