Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
