ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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