do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
