I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
