I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
