I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
