Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
