No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
