You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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