I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
