when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
