Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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