You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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