At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you had me at cake vodka
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
