its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
