Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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