your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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