I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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