Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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