so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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