guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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