my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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