Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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