If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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