I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My life is pants optional.
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