A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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