i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
