I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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