i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
