He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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