Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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