come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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