could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
