dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
