so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and she was petting her beer can
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
