It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
