Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
