And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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