Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
This house was built for laser tag.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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