so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
