i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's get the cat blown out
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
