never play flip cup with pint glasses
only if we run a train.
done.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
