My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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