fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
