they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"