sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize