I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.