Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.