We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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